What Your Therapist Thinks When You Say “This Is Silly”

By Kelly Clarke, LMFT-S

Ever sat down in therapy, took a deep breath, and said: “This is probably dumb, but…” or “I know this is silly, but…”

Let us stop you right there. It’s not silly. It’s not dumb. And it’s definitely not too small to talk about.

In fact, when you say those words, your therapist doesn’t judge you—they silently cheer you on. Why? Because what we’re really hearing is:

✨ Courage.

💬 Vulnerability.

🧠 Emotional insight.

❤️ A moment that matters.

No Feeling Is Too Small for the Therapy Room

You might be telling me about a breakup that only lasted two weeks. Or the guilt you feel for not calling your mom back. Or how your stomach twists in knots every time you have to find parking.

And here’s the thing: I take all of that seriously. Because you take it seriously. If it’s real for you, it’s real. That’s all I need to know.

Therapy Isn’t a Competition of Who Has It Worst

We’re not here to hand out gold stars for suffering. Trauma isn’t a contest. Pain is personal—and no one has to “earn” their spot on the couch. You don’t need to justify your feelings by comparing them to someone else’s tragedy. That’s like saying a paper cut doesn’t hurt because someone else broke their leg. Both hurt. Both deserve care.

What You Call “Silly,” We Call a Starting Point

Sometimes it’s the “little things” that unlock the big breakthroughs.

• That awkward text you can’t stop overanalyzing? Might point to deeper fears of rejection.

• That frustration over your partner not unloading the dishwasher? Could be connected to unmet emotional needs.

• That dream you keep having about your 6th grade teacher? There’s probably something interesting going on there.

We’re trained to follow the breadcrumbs, and they often start right where you feel most ridiculous.

Therapy Is a Judgment-Free Zone (Even About Your Parking Panic)

You can talk to me about your fear of parallel parking, your heartbreak over a friend ghosting you, or the way you cry every time a dog dies in a movie. I promise: I’m not rolling my eyes. I’m not laughing. I’m not tallying up your pain against someone else’s. You are not too much. You are not burden.

So Go Ahead—Say the Thing

The weird thing.The petty thing.The thing you’re scared will make me roll my eyes.

Because I won’t.

If you need to preface it with, “This is probably silly…” that’s okay. I’ll still be here—nodding, listening, validating, and gently helping you unpack what’s underneath. You don’t have to make a case for why your feelings are valid. They already are.

So say the thing. The thing you’re embarrassed to say. The thing you’ve edited five times in your head. The thing you almost didn’t bring up because you thought I might not get it.

I want to hear it. I’m here for it. I’m here for you. Because your story matters