How to Sit with Your Feelings Instead of Explaining Them Away

By Madyson Newberry, LPC-A

When strong emotions come up, it’s tempting to either analyze them to death or push them deep down where we don’t have to deal with them.We might tell ourselves we shouldn’t feel a certain way or distract ourselves so we don’t have to sit in discomfort. Sure, that might bring short-term relief—but over time, it creates distance from ourselves and from the people we care about.

Sitting with your feelings means giving yourself permission to fully experience whatever is happening inside—without judgment, without rushing to fix it, and without needing to “figure it out” right away. It’s slowing down enough to be present with sadness, anger, fear, joy, or any other emotion, just as it is.

Why We Avoid Our Feelings

There are a lot of reasons we tend to intellectualize or repress emotions:

• Using logic to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

• Pushing feelings away to protect ourselves from pain or vulnerability.

• Growing up in environments where emotions weren’t welcomed or safe to express.

While these strategies may have helped us cope at one time, they can also leave us feeling disconnected, numb, or out of balance in the long run.

How to Practice Sitting with Your Feelings

1. Pause and NoticeTake a moment to check in with yourself. Do you feel tightness in your chest? Irritability? Tears welling up? Simply acknowledge that something is coming up—no need to change it yet.

2. BreatheTake slow, deep breaths. Focus on your breath and your body. This helps you stay grounded rather than escaping into overthinking.

3. Name the EmotionAsk yourself, What am I feeling right now? Sadness? Fear? Embarrassment? Naming it helps you accept it.

4. Offer Yourself KindnessInstead of asking Why am I feeling this way? try telling yourself, It makes sense that I feel this right now. No need to solve or analyze—just be gentle with yourself.

5. Give It SpaceLet the feeling exist without rushing to get rid of it. Write about it, sit quietly, or say it out loud. Even five minutes of being with it can make a difference.

Final Thoughts

Sitting with your emotions is a powerful step toward self-awareness and healing. Once you’ve allowed yourself to feel without judgment, you can reflect on what the emotion might be telling you about your needs, boundaries, or desires.

You might:

• Journal about your experience.

• Share it with a trusted friend or therapist.

• Simply notice how the feeling shifts over time.

Remember: feeling deeply is a sign of strength, not weakness. The more you practice, the more connected and calm you’ll feel. You don’t need all the answers—you just need to listen to what your heart and body are trying to tell you.